RESOURCES FOR YOUNG PEOPLE AND PARENTS:
RAISING PAGAN CHILDREN—IMBOLC, 2008
By Eva Gordon, FoDLA Youth Religious Education Coordinator
Generally, as parents, and as members of a minority religious group—Druidic Pagans--we would want to ensure that our children continue in our own spiritual path. This is normal, but is it always feasible? Is it the right thing to do? After all, many of us came to Paganism in reaction to religious groups that indoctrinate, proselytize and prescribe “correct” beliefs for children. We would really much prefer our children to be aware of our path, and to give them knowledge and tools to make a choice of spiritual path as they mature and grow in understanding.
There is no one-size-fits-all method for accomplishing this. All families are different, and all children are different in temperament, needs, and learning style. Children grow at different rates, through developmental stages with increasing ability to handle abstract ideas.
We can teach basic values and behavior expectations for children by setting a good example, treating others with respect and kindness, showing hospitality, studying lore, participating in environmental clean-up drives, recycling, and so on. Spending time with children at any age is most important. Outings and camping trips, trips to nature centers, museum and zoos help increase awareness and love of the natural world. Reading to children, especially from Celtic mythology, legends and folktales, and keeping many types of books in the home, promotes a love of study and awareness of our heritage. (See my article of Lughnasadh 2007 for some suggestions.)
What about children observing or participating in rituals? There are some parents who wish to keep their Pagan identity and activities secret even from their own children, for fear that the kids will inadvertently mention some detail to a relative, teacher, or friend. This may be more common in religiously conservative communities, as in the South. I would advise against this secrecy between parent and child, as it can cause a lack of trust, and lead to much anxiety. Better to teach the child that the family spiritual practices are private and different (not evil), and that others’ beliefs should be respected as well. If the parent in question is new to Paganism, and not yet comfortable with his or her own philosophy and practices, that is a different matter. However, there will have to be openness between parent and child about this matter, sooner or later.
Children should be allowed to observe whatever small home rituals are done, and be allowed to participate if they like, perhaps lighting a candle or making an offering. Seasonal craft projects and decorations are enjoyable. However, extensive meditation or recitations would not be very appropriate for many children. (Ceisiwr Serith’s book, The Pagan Family, Llewellyn Publications, St. Paul, 1994, has a number of good suggestions for home ritual activities for children, though the emphasis is primarily Wiccan.)
If you are lucky enough to live in an area near other Celtic Pagans, you might consider allowing your child to come to a public community ritual. There may be several opportunities for a child to participate in some way, processing around the sacred space, chanting, singing, or making small offerings. Druidic rituals, as a rule, do not cast a closed circle, as is done in Wiccan rituals, so there is always an “escape route” in case of a child’s sudden need to leave the ritual. There might even be the opportunity to meet and make friends with other Pagan families with children—a real bonus.
All of the above is, again, not for purposes of indoctrination of children into a Pagan belief system or practice, however. It is only meant as a way of allowing one’s children to be aware of their parents’ values and practices. Children grow into teenagers, and at that point, they will wish to show themselves to be individuals in many ways. A heavy focus on religious doctrine and ritual can certainly “backfire,” even for Pagans! (Some of us might remember the MAD Magazine cartoon of the horrified “hippie” couple who encounter their grown children dressed in three-piece suits and carrying briefcases.)
Ultimately, children need to grow, explore, and find their own spiritual paths as they mature. They should be encouraged to read about various world religions and philosophies along the way, and judge for themselves what is right for them. And, Celtic Paganism, a familiar home tradition, will be there for them.